Illuminati Olympics - 4 (Stupid) Clues

When viewed as a whole the Illuminati are a socialist, Catholic, fascist, French, racist, Jewish, homosexual, German, monarchist, African, scientific, communist, imperialist, Satanist, anti-semitic, extra-terrestrial organisation dedicated to global exploitation, domination and genocide. They’re pretty much the most famous secret organisation ever, referenced in everything from historical essays to comic books, from newspapers to music. These are all quite remarkable achievements, especially considering THEY DON’T EXIST.

 The Freemasons do exist but they’re also irrelevant

Everyone kind of agrees (mostly) that the Illuminati love to show off. They put arrogant little signs everywhere. It’s pretty stupid though because these clues are always spotted. It might just be me, but if I was running a secret global conspiracy I wouldn’t publicise it. I might take it seriously.

This. Stuff like this. This is a waste of important conspiracy funds

In the truest ways of apophenia (finding meaningful patterns where there are none) some conspiracy theorists have decided the Olympics are another such Illuminati project. After the click, read about the top 4 most commonly referenced pieces of evidence:

7 Adverts from the Olympic Buildup

I’ve seen the warnings about how to plan your transport and how to avoid getting caught in unusual rush hours. I’ve followed the debate about what to do with the big stadium after it’s finished. I’ve seen Wenlock and Mandeville in shops now, and I’ve even seen a few kids on the tube carrying the little Wenlock dolls. I’ve been enraged by the various conspiracy theorists who think we’ll all die in 2012. This can only mean one thing: THE LONDON OLYMPICS ARE JUST A MONTH AWAY.

Like with any major sporting event, the adverts have all cashed in too. A while ago we looked at the Superbowl adverts, so now let’s have a look at some of the adverts in the build-up to the Olympics after the click:

Paralympic Posters

London is starting to buzz about the Olympics. Well, it has been for a while, but now the buzzing is really loud. I know some folks who have tickets, sure. But now it turns out I also know a few people who are already working for them in some capacity, whether volunteering as crowd control, staffing and catering for their parties and events, helping to build and finish the stadiums, planning the opening ceremony... meanwhile I still don’t have a job… no, no, it’s fine, I just need a moment.

None of them will tell me a damn thing about the opening cermony, obviously. They say they don’t even know, but that’s exactly what they’d say if they did even know!

Yep, money is going to shower down on this city like gold from a rainbow. Then we’re back to being screwed – except no, because that’s when we get my favourite part of the Olympics. The PARALYMPICS!

Hopefully the least offensive possible combination of shapes and colors

After the click let's find out more!