3D : An extra dimension of crappiness

As I sit in my cinema seat, and put on my pair of plastic glasses, I am apathetic that the movie I am about to watch is in 3D. 2010 certainly seems to be the year of the 3D cinema, with everything from Toy Story to SAW having a go at making us look stupid in our Corrado Soprano inspired glasses.

I loved Avatar. I will always use it as a prime example of 3D being used to enhance a movie experience, rather than cheapen it with obnoxious reminders that yes, we are indeed watching a 3D movie. This usually involves things flying out at us suddenly, dirt or mud being sprayed, or maybe if we are lucky, a penis courtesy of the much anticipated Jackass 3.

I am not ripping on Jackass for using 3D. In fact, I think it is a fantastic idea, because those guys are doing it all for a laugh, and I have no doubt in my mind that seeing poop, penises and jetskis flying at me will be a visceral experience.

What does bug me, is how people seem to be substituting a great story experience, with a gimmicky and shallow attempt of spectacle over narrative. In fact, most of the time, the 3D makes things look even more artificial then they already are.

Of course, the next big thing, or the next big flop, is going to be 3D TV. Imagine sitting at home, wearing a pair of glasses and watching Eastenders in 3D. Two Dimensions of Pat Butcher is enough thank you. Saying that, before one of the many 3D movies that I have seen this year, a trailer for Sky Sports 3D was shown, and it actually looked pretty sweet. So, I guess the jury is out on this one until it becomes properly established. Personally, I don’t think it is going to be the next big thing. For some reasons I am thinking of Minidisks, and while it was a cool idea, it just didn’t take off. Do people really want to put on some goofy glasses every time they watch TV?

One thing, which at this moment in time is probably still in very early development, is 3D gaming. It does exist in limited form, with a few games supporting it, such as Valve’s ‘Left 4 Dead 2’. It doesn’t seem to have become a serious thought just yet, mostly due to price of hardware, and the ever present premium that comes attached to the novelty.

What we should do, is skip this stage and head into 4D, which according to Wikipedia is:

‘Generated by applying the rules of vectors and coordinate geometry to a space with four dimensions. In particular a vector with four elements (a 4-tuple) can be used to represent a position in four-dimensional space. The space is a Euclidean space, so has a metric and norm, and so all directions are treated as the same: the additional dimension is indistinguishable from the other three.’

Now, I don’t know what the hell that means, but I don’t think us humans will be able to manage it, without 4D glasses, some brain surgery and LSD.

I’m not even going to get into the implications of 3D pornography. That’s for another conversation, and without going into detail, you know that it will either be the worst, or the greatest invention of mankind.

Video Games - Waste of Time or Freaking Awesome

Video Games. I love em.

Sometimes it’s just fun to join in an online game, and join thousands in racing, shooting or even epic quests of nerdlike proportions. Hours fly by as we stare at a screen, moving only our fingers to control the super soldier that we are puppeting on screen. If only my sex life was as easy. Oh wait, it is, but that’s another thing entirely.

I have been playing games as long as I can remember. From jumping on enemies in Sonic the Hedgehog on the Master System to destroying whole buildings in Battlefield Bad Company 2, I am a certified gamer.

I shudder at the thought of all the skills and education I could have amassed during the many years of my life that I have spent staring at a screen, but then again, at least I wasn’t out on the streets killing hookers and shooting cops; nope, I could do all that at home, without the hefty jail sentence and overly friendly bunkmate.

At the end of the day, people do things which they enjoy. Gaming now, more than ever is a huge industry worth billions, and it is only going to get bigger. Gone are the pimply bespeckled nerds, replaced with a demographic that ranges from the age of 0-80. Mostly male though. I will never impress a female with my ability to buy full guns and kit in Counterstrike, in less than 2 seconds.

Now, one of my fondest yet most shameful memories of my time at university is the amount of Mario Kart we played. We played it for hours, every day, without fail. There were three of us, sometimes four, and nothing was more fun than screwing over your friend and winning the race. This, I think, validates games. It brings people together for a great time, in a place where nothing ultimately matters and you can kill eachother with no consequence.

As for World of Warcraft fans – That’s another thing entirely.

Youtube Link of the Day

An extremely cool music video with some amazing and creative animation.

Getting a Job

I’m unemployed. There you go. That’s not to say I sit at home in my underwear, eating cheetos and watching Star Trek (Sorry Josh).

I could probably get a job, if I wanted to, within a week. It I could be getting yelled at in a Callcenter, filling in endless databases with my hatred, or teaching English in some other corner of the planet.

Unfortunately for all those wonderful establishments, I know that if I get a job anywhere, I am going to stay there as long as possible to avoid going through the slog of the graduate jobhunter. That’s why it’s taking me a long time; I want to work in a position that I actually want to do, somewhere that I can progress and forge myself a career. Seems like a lot to ask these days.

It’s proven very tough, in fact this blog is spawned from my efforts to get a job. Sure, no one is going to read the words of an Internet nobody, but at least I can show an employer I know a little bit about blogs and the importance of keeping yourself busy and out there.

My neighbour suggested the peacock effect. He told me a story about a guy who would go into the reception of various businesses, wearing a suit that stank to high heaven and refused to move until he could talk to someone in recruitment, and blag himself a job. I'm not sure how the tale ended - I like to think he was told to go have a shower, and come in the next day.

Now, I’m not that desperate yet, but something has to be done. The job market is a very fickle place, and I’ve got a feeling that getting invited for an interview as akin to waiting for a bus on a rainy cold day, or a policeman while a thuggish man does untold things to you. You will wait and wait, and all of a sudden, 5 will hit you at once.

Well, bring it on. Even my cat is noticing I am at home far too much, and I swear to god he brought in a job leaflet from somewhere.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have a hankering for some Cheetos, and I believe Star Trek will be on at any moment.

P.S. If you are reading, this, HIRE ME. I aint pretty, but I make a mean cup of coffee.

Awesome Minimalist Movie Posters

First off, I did not make these, I am just sharing. Credit goes to google images, and the various places i found them.






Click the link below for more

Youtube Video of the Day

Go ahead and make your day a bit more bittersweet.

The Brain Game

Left or right; which are you?

Now obviously these are not concrete pigeonholes, after all the brain is still somewhat of a mystery to scientists, but the term ‘left or right brained’ has become a popular way of explaining the difference between certain personalities and skills.
Left or right; which are you?

No, I’m not talking politics, or what hand you stir coffee with, but which side of the brain you use more.
So picture it, that wonderful yet mysterious grey matter sitting in our head. Draw a vertical line down the middle, creating two hemispheres, the left and the right. Either side has different characteristics that drive our personalities and ways of thinking. They are not mutually exclusive, both sides work together for us to function, but they don’t often operate in equal proportions; people sometimes use one side more than the other

This isn’t to say that we have two personalities crammed in our heads, duking it out for control in an epic mind battle, just that each side brings out different choices and ways of thinking.

So which is which? There are tests that can be taken to indicate which side you are and popular psychology has determined a list of characteristics attributed to each hemisphere. Behold.

Now obviously these are not concrete pigeonholes, after all the brain is still somewhat of a mystery to scientists, but the term ‘left or right brained’ has become a popular way of explaining the difference between certain personalities and skills.